It’s A Phonecall

My mother has been nudging me to go see the new movie about having an affair with your ex-husband. “It’s Complicated,” yes, that’s the name of the film. To me, it is not complicated. It is not in the same galaxy as complicated. It is very simple. My movie would be called, “It’s Simple.” 

I would never think or feel to do such a thing, and that is why it is simple. It is appalling, actually. Maybe the name of the film should be that…”It’s Appalling.” Or, “It’s Disturbing.” Or, “It’s the Most Disgusting Concept for a Film.”

Since the commercials for the movie have started, I have been telling my mother, who calls from New York, that I am not interested in seeing it, but thanks for the tip.

“It has gotten fabulous reviews,” she tells me. “I don’t know if you’ve read them, in Texas. And we love Meryl. And Alec.”

“It would give me nightmares,” I tell her, adding that I have access to communication here, and all sorts of media. “It would give me nightmares in Texas.”

I do love Meryl and Alec, but I will wait to see them in another film, or watch Mamma Mia again. Or 30 Rock. In fact, last night, I watched the 30 Rock marathon. Four in a row. That was not complicated.

While I was watching, in Texas, Mom was at the theatre in New York. I get a call around eight pm. I am making a sandwich. There is no standard greeting.

“Get yourself dressed, right now, and go to the movie theatre.”

“I’m having a sandwich, and it is raining.”

“I am not even out of my seat. The credits are rolling. There are a lot of good things in this movie. You have to see it.”

“It is revolting to me,” I explain.

“Well, maybe you can go tomorrow.”

I am not going. Maybe that is close-minded and stubborn. I’m sure the film is full of those questions of doubt, those nuances that make Meryl and Alec real people, like me, yeah yeah, but so what. I would rather see Meryl join a trapeze family. It’s that simple.